This project is an experiment with how design can communicate emotions. There is still a stigma in today’s society with expressing intense feelings and I want to show that it is okay to show these emotions.

From this project I hope to lead by example and wear my heart on my sleeve.

I got inspiration for a pen holder while browsing through a craft store and decided to make my own.

By using some elastic and thread, I was able to make one for my journal. I also used the same materials to make the latch to keep my book closed.

All sewing for this journal has been done by hand.

Left: A sign in sheet to get people comfortable with writing in the journal. I know that people can be very hesitant to interact with art, so I wanted something inviting.

Right: Originally just going to say "Senior Thesis 2022" in large letter, I made the cover into a collage instead.

Inspiration for this piece came from self reflecting on my thesis and how this whole project felt like I was wading through turbulent currents, trying not to slip and fall into the raging waters and drown.

Below: Progress photos of cover image collage.

For the rules, I just wanted to say outright that it was okay to interact with this journal and that it was okay if parts of it broke.

I also just wanted to give a quick warning about some of the content as it could be triggering to some people.

The piece above was actually my first piece in the book.

I felt very anxious and scared that my project wasn't going to be enough and that I was worthless. I had all these negative thoughts swirling around in my head and I felt like my facade of being fine was cracking.

I wrote all the negative comments down on the page before covering them up  and just saying that I was okay.

On the back I wrote what I was feeling. In the beginning I was still unsure of where I wanted to take this journal, but in the end, I decided to not use this format in the other pieces.

This piece arose because while thinking of what to do with this project (and also my life), I felt completely lost as to what I should do. I didn't know how to continue and my thoughts felt jumbled.

From my first piece, I noticed the lettering could be read through the back, so I took this as an opportunity to hide a small message. I surrounded this "hidden" message with a complex city-street map; further alluding to the message that I felt lost.

Above, you can see that I played with the scraps heavily, trying to find the perfect coverage of foliage and using the movement in each piece to make the viewers eyes circle around the figure if they ever left the center of the piece.

I also played with different types of vegetation that I wanted to cover the figures face. I tested all that I had and these four were the ones I narrowed down to.

I ended up choosing the red flowers as I felt it added a sense of balance to the piece and the colors contrasted well.

To make the hole in the center of this book, I designed and 3-D printed a guide in order to make cutting easier.

I was also able to use this as a guide to other pieces that needed to be cut to fit the pages. 

This piece is reflective of my love for my significant other. The piece depicts butterflies in my stomach, and with each turning page, the colors the butterflies flit around. The butterflies sometimes don't stay vibrant, signifying that anxiousness you feel in your stomach lessens as the love goes on. However, the pages themselves become more vibrant with each succession, showing that despite the loss of the butterflies, the love is stronger and deeper than before.

The butterflies still have a chance to come back, but it's okay if they don't. The feelings of vibrance and security that come with each passing day are what love really is for me.

Each page also has a hand-made note to my significant other and the last page features the full embroidered heart I made. With the embroidered heart, I laid out a pink-themed entry explaining that love is innately human and that there are all different kinds of love.

Each envelope is hand-made; the colors of them becoming increasingly vibrant as well. They're latched with Velcro to keep the contents in place and decorated with a hand-crocheted heart, topping off the fact that they're all love letters.

I have trouble expressing my love in words, however, I tried my best with these notes. The most notable ones being:

- Our connecting thumbprints in our preferred colors, making a heart with the words "You complete me"

- One with petals from a bouquet I gave him for Valentines Day 2022 and a note saying how I wish to give him plenty more bouquets for decades to come

- The last envelope holds a handful of crocheted hearts. This envelope if literally bursting at the seams with my love for him.

As shown above, I did multiple tests to see which grouping of butterflies I liked the best for this piece.

For each group I looked at the way the colors interacted with the whole piece and each other. I also considered the sizing of  each butterfly, how the group was oriented, and how they were layered.

I also tested what type of thread color I wanted to use; red or white.

I originally wanted to use fishing line, however, I had to make due with colored thread instead.

I thought red would work because it matched with the coloring of the stomach, however I ended up going with white because I felt it distracted too much from the butterflies and the contents of each page.

Spreads on anger and feeling like you've gone mad.

The left image features the famous "Kubrick Stare", a look alluding that the subject has become deranged. I felt like with his project I was going mad.

The right image depicts my emotions of feeling like I was being eaten alive by my anger. When I started on my most recent medications I would get intense bouts of anger for no reason. I didn't want to be angry, but I couldn't help it. I've since gotten better, but during that time, I felt like I was being swallowed whole by a creature that wasn't me.

The piece on the right is being held together by weak supports and accented by things you might see when trying to hold together broken skin.

At the back is a mirror. Signifying that I had to look at myself in my anger and realize that it wasn't me I was seeing.

Originally I had a bag inside the pages that held a mixture of food dye and water. I liked the look of it and was super excited, however, I had anxiety that this bag would leak.

About a week before this thesis was due the bag broke and ruined the surrounding pages. Out of a fit of anger I tore the piece apart and the results of me trying to fix everything afterwards lead to the final piece.

Above: Illustrations made for the previous spreads

The mirror piece on the left was made as a breather between pieces while the spread on the right was a a reflection piece on my emotions and their relation with the color red. I was feeling a sense of power and independence during the construction of the red spread, and as such, the ephemera I used reflected these feelings.

On the left I made a simple pocket to hold several letters I wrote. These were more traditional diary entries that I tore out of my journal that couldn't be put into designs so easily.

On the right is a page I made to comfort myself. I chose my favorite color and filled the page with ephemera I enjoyed.

This spread above is different from what I had made previously. The first spread is aimed to drift the viewer away from full design pages into more free space to reflect on their thoughts. I asked a simple question to get them thinking and filled in one of the spaces to encourage them to also answer. The following page asks a more pointed question and encourages them to use the rest of the journal for their own ideas or designs.