Attentive Distraction

Making of "Changing my narrative"

I see life as an attentive distraction of endless moments. It is my life, I want to be attentive to it, and I want to be present for it. Sometimes, the present is complicated. So, I distract myself. I distract myself when I don’t have the tools to cope or the support to depend on.

I build scenarios in my subconscious mind to explain these series of feelings, moments, and situations. I distract myself from the hurt, from the ugly in people. When we have no control over what is happening around us, we can only control the distractions, fantasies, and make beliefs. These distractions I share with you today are the beginning of a series I am showing about my life.

Condensed Milk, 2022

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12”x12”

We all have coping strategies; some are healthier than others. Some are weird and painful. They carry us through difficult times, moments, and situations that seem unbearable any other way. Condensed milk was my distraction during my early teen years. I would drink condensed milk, looking for something sweet. Each "CAN" became a reason or an excuse to cover my condensed shame, condensed loneliness, condensed tears, condensed screams. Today the cans can't hold it anymore. They have all expired. They stayed in the '80s.

Changing my narrative, 2022

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12”x12”

I am an obnoxiously positive person. I got lucky, I suppose. Even during the most devastating moments of my life, I got up the following day and kept going. There is always the next morning. Problems are just like fears. They don't leave you until you solve them. You have to face them, so they don't control you. Then you can change the narrative. I have earned this thick spine and am allowing myself to write my story with a different intent: freer, more self-assured.

Creating these worlds has reminded me how much I have changed and grown since the beginning of my life. Facing these uncomfortable places within myself and changing the narrative of these moments, they are not part of my story anymore. Now, they are stories to tell.