Me Time
After 2020, more and more women are recognising exhausting habits and patterns and are speaking up in order to reclaim their space and time
Published in: The Times of India
Date: 09/04/2021
Written by: Divya Menon
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Me time. A catchphrase that has gained popularity in the past few years, but in essence, is a concept that is nothing short of a necessity.
For most women, who seem to have an endless list of responsibilities and chores to juggle, ‘me time’ has long been an elusive concept. And the last year has only highlighted that more than anything else. Thanks to 2020, the dynamics of how we function as families, work teams and a society at large, has changed quite a bit. And adapting to this evolving situation is the only solution. Many women are taking matters into their own hands to make sure that happens for them as well.
“Growing up, I was always taught to keep others’ needs above mine. Luckily, I married into a sensible family, so I never felt that my space or time was not respected. However, 2020 completely turned things around. I have been a housewife all my life, and happily so. But with work from home, my husband who has been working for over 35 years, was suddenly forced to be home all day long. My kids too, who are both used to being out and about, were suddenly cooped up indoors. The first few months were okay, because we would do a lot of things together as a family. But gradually, things started getting hectic. Not just for them, for me too! The usual time that I had to myself during the day, became non-existent. I couldn’t watch the TV at a decent volume because somebody or the other would constantly be on a call. Plus the number of coffee and tea requests started driving me nuts. I had to put down my foot down and firmly take back my time. I too need my space and I do not intend to compromise on it in at this age,” says Vijayalakshmi R, 55, a homemaker.
The issues each home has been seeing, are markedly different, but it all boils down to one thing. It is the woman of the house that is overworked and overburdened to an extent that many of them started feeling a sense of despair. Keertana Mridul, 37, an art curator and mother to two young kids, says she learnt her lesson the hard way. “In the beginning, even after the lockdown eased, I and my husband were trying to take care of things equally. But when work from home became the norm, we soon realised that no matter how hard he tried, it was me that the kids usually needed. With a four year old and a seven year old in the house, I was constantly on call. It is either a fight that needs to be sorted out, or someone needs food, or someone needs to find something or someone needs help going to the bathroom or someone has made a mess that needs to be cleaned up. And all of that can happen in a 15 minute window. With such young kids, that is a normal day. But what I didn’t realise was that tackling everything together on a daily basis was draining out all my energy. Work was taking a beating and I was physically exhausted and in a bad mood all the time. It only got better after we hired a stay-at-home help,” she says.
Throughout the past year, this has been a common scenario in homes with young kids. With no respite in sight and the virus still looming large, many parents have resorted to hiring full-time help. “Thanks to the impossible standards society has set, it feels horrible to say it, but every mother feels this. They need a little time away from their kids to be able to be there for them properly, physically, mentally and emotionally. This past year has made that amply clear. Grown-up conversations, doing things that are not kid-related, and time to have a cup of coffee in peace, these are basic needs. We are only human. And I know that hiring full-time help is a luxury not everybody can afford, but I am very grateful that we could. It is expensive, but it helped keep my sanity intact,” says Mayuri Das Shaikh, a jewellery designer and mother to twin toddlers.
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