Anna
An original short story by Justice B. Cain
Callie was so excited, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her to tell Anna …
… she wasn’t even aware that she had dropped the letter, which only moments ago was the center of her universe, she didn’t watch the wind carry it away. Her eyes were fixated on the scene before her. Men were moving around, focused on their tasks, each knowing their job, and moving with a sense of purpose. A man with a clipboard was suddenly at her side and talking to her, “Can I help you young lady?” He stared at her with a mixture of confusion and concern. “Anna?” was all she could manage to squeak out, as she half lifted a hand toward the scene behind him. The man tilted his head in confusion and then looked back behind him at the flurry of activity. When his gaze returned to Callie he seemed to have pieced it together. He stammered a little, he seemed unsure of the appropriate words to use, “I’m, .. yeah, …she was sick, really sick. There wasn’t really anything that could be done.” Seemingly as an afterthought he said, “I’m sorry kid, nothing lasts forever.” And then he turned back to the scene and started barking orders.
Callie’s knees nearly buckled, but she caught herself, she turned and ran back up the path and then climbed the side of the path where it rose up into a hill. She scaled the steep hill until she found the outcropping she knew was there. She crawled out to the edge of the outcropping and looked down. She was looking almost directly above the scene at Anna’s. She could see the men moving around packing up and cleaning the scene. She stayed there, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs and she cried, long hard deep sobs that felt like they came from deep in her chest and belly. At times the pain was so solid, she felt like if she could bust her hand through the flesh of her belly, she could physically remove the lump of pain like it was a rock. Callie was completely unaware that at times her crying was loud enough for the men below her to hear. Sometimes, when the pain got too real and felt like a burning knife ripping through her chest, she would open her mouth and howl with the pain, and the men below would shudder at the primal sound of it. Callie had never known such pain and she didn’t feel capable of surviving it.
As her heart broke, Callie’s mind drifted back to the first time she had met Anna. She remembered her mother bringing her here when she was a very small child and telling her the story of how her mom had brough her when she was a little girl. Callie’s mother had told her many stories of the beautiful Anna and the many times Anna had been there when Callie’s mom needed someone most. She told her, “Callie, I have known a lot of different kind of people in my life, but I have never met anyone as wise, as patient, or as loving as Anna. Anna has never been too busy for me when I need her, she seems unaffected by schedules, clocks, commitments; she is just there to listen, always. She doesn’t lecture, or preach but always wants to hear your thoughts and share your feelings.
Callie was a little uncomfortable the first time they met. Anna was not what Callie expected. Her mother had told her many stories about Anna’s beauty, but Callie had initially been grossed out by Anna’s skin. She wished it was smoother and softer like her mom’s skin, that was more familiar to her. When Callie said this to her mom, Callie’s mom told her that Anna had lived a much longer life, those creases and folds where from experience beyond what either of them could comprehend; wisdom was tucked deep into each crease and protected by each fold. Callie was immediately awed by the number of creases and folds Anna had, and how much wisdom that must translate into. Callie wanted to know how it was possible to gather THAT much wisdom all in one being in only one lifetime? Callie’s mom had thought about that one awhile. Finally she said, “I guess it is because she spends more time listening than talking.” Callie never forgot that. She remembered it when she was with friends and tempted to comment just for the sake of having something to say. She practiced being like Anna and trying to “just listen” to conversations without a need to contribute. Callie was always amazed at how different a conversation was when you weren’t waiting to add something to it all the time.
It didn’t take long before Callie didn’t even notice Anna’s tough, creased skin anymore. All Callie could see was her acceptance and love, all she knew was the peace and confidence that it gave her to know that Anna would ALWAYS be there for her. Callie felt sick at the realization that while Anna had always been there for her, clearly she failed to be there for Anna. How could Anna be that sick and she not even notice!? Anna never complained. She brought ALL of her problems to Anna, but hard as she try, she could not recall one time .. ever … that Anna told her she was sad, or hurt, or in pain, or …sick. Anna didn’t complain, ever. She thought back over the last few days, weeks, month. Did Anna look different? Act different? She couldn’t recall any difference in her appearance. It had been so long since she stopped seeing Anna’s physical being. And, no. No Anna NEVER acted different, ever. She was always the exact same, loving, dependable, giving, Anna.
Callie barely noticed the men cleaning up, or packing their belongings. She didn’t notice them scurry to their cars, anxious to get in and drive away from the horrible discomfort of the girl’s pain. She just cried and wailed until she felt she was completely empty. When it seemed as if the pain had taken pity on her fragile body and provided her a brief moment of calm, Callie noticed the scene below again. She saw that everyone was gone and she quickly shuffled back down the way she had come, needing to be close to Anna’s place, if she couldn’t be close to Anna. When she reached Anna’s place, she stopped and just stared. It was so empty without her. No warmth, no arms outstretched waiting to welcome her. No invitation to crawl up and sit in her massive lap and make stories together. No offer to lift her high in the air so she could see far off into the woods. All that was left was a ... giant … black … empty … hole. Callie wanted the hole to swallow her up and take her to wherever Anna was now. She decided suddenly to crawl down into the hole and pray for it to take her. The hole was deep enough for Callie to crawl down into it and curl up into a little ball. She imagined, that from above, that she looked like a seed dropped into a fresh scooped hole in the garden. She wanted to be a seed. She wanted to be the seed that grew Anna back again. She wondered if she lay there long enough, and thought really, really hard about Anna, if she stayed there, curled up in Anna’s hole long enough, and if she remembered every moment of Anna’s life, would Anna’s spirit consume her? Would Anna start to grow inside of her, her branches eventually sprouting from Callie’s body and reaching toward the sunlight? Would Callie’s body eventually be swallowed up in Anna’s growth, forever part of one another, entwined in an eternal hug? Did all of these other trees, that surrounded Anna's place in the forest, have love living inside them, a heart at their core that would rather live silent and strong, in the loving embrace of another, than be free to run around searching for things you can’t seem to identify, let alone achieve? Does the hurt and anger at not knowing what they are looking for or where they are supposed to be cause them to lash out in anger at all of the other lost and broken souls? Callie called out, begging the universe to accept her as a tree, to let Anna grow back through her.
