Everything has its own beginning, just like a new day, the sun rises from the east, that’s a sign of new day and new chances, just like a very first page of a book, it means a new story and new adventure. A new things seems to very attractive, we can’t help but really enthusiast about every new things. You know the feels when you plan to go to a vacation, you will be very happy, you count the day before you go the vacation, and when the day comes, you will tell yourself that this is gonna be awesome.

But somehow, I feel different. A month before leaving to Tangerang, I’m very excited. But the week before I leave, that was a new thing for me, I became sad and started to fear, and the feels when I finally arrived in Tangerang, start a new day and try to adjust, that’s the worst. Homesick. 

I wanted to go back and forget whatever I have been fight for God knows how long.

I wanted to give up.

I wanted to quit. 

But, hey. 

Why should I fear? 

My God is a God who provide. 

I want this. 

I choose this!

“But, I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want Goodness, I want sin.” – Aldoux Husley, Brave New World 

Clarissa Ruth Natan 2015