"5 Types of Girls You Meet at a DIY Show"
1.) The Edgy Thot
“I matched with the lead singer on Tinder. Also I dated their roadie. So I’m like, already in there. I wonder if he’ll get me backstage? I also have to tell everyone within a five foot radius that I am talking to the lead singer via Tinder once every couple of weeks when he’s drunk at three in the morning. Why hasn’t he responded to my offer to take my number? Also, did I tell you we matched on Tinder?”
2.)The Underage Tourist
“Um, what time is this show over? My mom says I have to be home at 10, so I guess I’ll just stay for the first act...by the way, can I bum a cigarette?” These gals stick out like a sore thumb. We’ve also been this girl at some point during our teen years (if you were cool enough). They heard about the show via an instagram repost or facebook event from their city. This is the only night their parents are cool enough to let them out of their suburban prison, so it’s definitely gotta count. It’s their one chance to make the ultimate appearance to look super hot and approachable. “Ugh, I have like 5 missed calls from my mom.”
3.) She definitely only came to take selfies in the bathroom mirror
“Can you take a pic of me against this brick wall?Make sure you get my shoes in it.”Can you imagine treating a musical event as the backdrop for your online aesthetic? She went to the show, but you wouldn’t be aware of this, because the only photographic evidence is a selfie of her in a grimey mirror covered with indie skate brand decals and sharpie scrawlings. Of course, her foot is elegantly perched up on the edge of the sink, because the shoes must always be included. She goes to places...with bathrooms...that look like THAT? Brooklyn must be like, super cool. (Could be Brooklyn, New York, could also be her literal name. Who knows?)
4.) She Just Came to Smoke a Bowl in the Corner
Don’t do drugs, kids. Unless you’re forced to watch your friend’s boyfriend’s band play in a converted Chinese restaurant. In that case, you might want to be as inebriated as possible. (Bong) RIP.
5.) The Greasy Headbanger
She’s practical. No frills,no fishnets, and no jingly-janglies here. She’s asserting herself as the most legit fan in the joint. Can’t you tell how serious she is about this scene by the various pockets and zippers on her outfit? You can’t properly mosh with a purse tying you down. Also, did I forget to mention that these girls are always ridiculously short and full of anger?